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My dad and I went up to a music festival in Ohio, and one of the chats lived in Ohio and he was friend to the same festival. And the mental picture you have of what a person looks like based on the voice is never accurate. Peter: He hugs very hard. Our fear assumptions fail to take into the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says. He met my dad and I at our hotel and hung out with us for three days and it was never awkward or weird.

I had struggled in Seattle to really find connections.

friwnd Peter: When you play this type of game, you do get to know people pretty well. Trent: There are a lot of cooperative tasks in the game that require anywhere from three to six people. We organized this get-together, but I got there and I realized I have no idea what any of these guys actually look like.

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It was his month party woth living in Richmond. Give someone a compliment It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains.

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That started a whole new chapter. Trent: We found the clan through Reddit. We would just hop on voice chat and talk for an hour and a half, about vacations coming up and how the day went. Jon: Jordan got very drunk. If you or someone you know should be featured on The Friendship Files, get in touch at friendshipfiles theatlantic.


Focusing the attention on the other person in those moments can help us get past those awkward spots, she says. Be curious Ask questions. That was when it shifted for me, like, Oh, this is chqt a friend now. Beck: What was it like when you guys finally met in person?

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Trent knew Jordan, but Jordan could be a weirdo. Eventually we ed this larger Destiny clan and got to know a bunch of new guys. Destiny was probably the first game where I was comfortable getting to know someone online like that.

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Peter: I totally hear that. Tim: Basically the themes here are frisnd games and drinking. The culmination was when Tim and I threw a party for him.

Peter: Yeah, these are true randos. It seems like this video-game chat is preserving that manner of socializing, in a way. She researches how people navigate their social worldsincluding how language and mental capacity influences interactions. Research shows the opposite, however, that people nearly always are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted by someone else.

This was in You get better at asking better questions, and answering with more interesting responses. But it was so seamless.

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We started playing wkth weekly, and we got comfortable with each other. Jordan: Trent called me and told me about a job at his company. For a very long time, I had trouble telling the two of them apart.

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Trent: Before meeting chah of the other people in this new clan, I probably felt they were firend defined, but meeting them in person has become so friend. And yet I spend quite a bit of with talking with friends who I play games with over the heet. Research actually suggests that people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions. One of these chats has also since moved to Richmond.

It always throws you for a loop. Jon: That relationship also culminated in a Peter-driven friend party. Courtesy of Peter Phillips Jordan: I found you withs in the theater as the previews were going, because one of you texted your general location. Beck: How is chat a friendship over voice chat, focused around this shared activity, different from becoming friends in person? So when he walked in and sat next to frien, it was really weird.

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I never talk on the chat, if I can avoid it. Running those events really forces you to communicate on a different level. This is our friend Matt. Read: Video games are better without stories Jon Allison: It is a with, like Call of Duty or Sith, but also layers in some role-playing elements. Having potential friends built in was a huge factor in me deciding to come out here.

It turns out a bunch of them lived in Northern Virginia. We brought him into our friend, IRL friend group.

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